Life Begins at the end of your Comfort zone

Hello, it's been two years already I never wrote anything in this blog. Well, Hi once again. The truth why I'm suddenly vanish like the air is my laptop broken. I use my sister laptop all this long. Then I forgot the password and email for this blog. Honestly, I miss to wrote in here once again. Seriously miss so much! It just wrote on your own journal without getting any reply, and the best feeling is nobody will reach on me plus, I can said anything that I want to say to my own blog.

Well guyz, while I'm wrote this blog, I already 25 years old. Yup! already adult enough to be called as "kak". But, don't said I'm also matured enough in adult world. No! I don't have any confident to even said like that. I'm still learning day by day on how to deal in this challenging world.

Masa aku masuk dlm company "P" ni, its just alasan for me to be in here. Basically, it's all started when Nad,my bff asked me to join doing internship/practical at Kuala Lumpur. Yes guyz! KL! Aku sendiri pun mcam tak percaya on how aku boleh lepas jauh2 ni. Tidak dok area utagha ja. Stay kat utagha,belajar pun kat utagha, pokoknya aku ni mmg tak boleh jauh dri rumah la. Tapi aku decide utk mai juga atas sbb aku tak dk pilihan. Actually, ada ja pilihan for me utk aku duduk di company "P" ni or just do practicum in sebuah jabatan kerajaan kt tmpt aku. Tapi, ego aku tinggi. Nah hai! ambik ko! Lepas mai sni dh pun -__-'

Jujurnya, aku ada tgh dok fighting mental aku ni. Aku dh ada kat sni dekat sebulan 2 minggu dh pun. Aku rsa mcm aku tgh fight gila2 dgn negative mental aku ni. Aku jadi tak happy, tetiba test mental health (social phobia test) jdi moderate. Why ha? Mesti uolls' tertanya kan? First, aku tak biasa dgn culture dan environment kerja di department aku. Depa punya masa balik dan datang ke keja,tak sama dgn HRM policy. Kedua, aku tak faham dgn sv aku ja. Aku tak tau nk ambik port tang mana utk faham perangai dia. Dia dgn aku ibarat dua dunia berbeza la. Dia masuk office, menghadap computer memanjang and sometime she does is attack me full of questions. Seriously, dealing with the staffs in my department its one of my current stress. Balik nangis2, asyik balik ja down. Siap dgn mengadu hal ni kat bff's lagi.

Tapi, bila supervisor (sv) @ staff aku tak dk, aku rasa beban aku mcm hilang semua kot. Like today, only left one staff sahaja. And I siap sit and have plenty of times and even can write this blog once again. Hmm.. I wonder why?

So, masa cuti last 3 days ago, aku buat reflection dalam2 yg aku nk melawan fikiran negative aku. Might be it took a time, but at least I try kan? Lecturer aku tahu hal aku balik lewat ni, and aku pun ada habaq kat dia. Alhamdulillah, Allah hantar org yg baik2 belaka utk comfort kan aku ni. Aku rsa, aku mmg kena sabaq banyak2. Istighfar banyak2. Aku percaya, Allah atuq aku mai sni ada sebab dan bersebab.

Jujur skrng feeling aku.. aku rasa mcam nak balik sangat2 kat rumah. About two days in the rows, aku keep cari tiket flight utk balik ke rumah ja. Cuti tiga hari tu, aku dok ja kat rumah sewa. Sepatutnya aku balik, tapi tiket flight mmg cekik darah la. So, aku nk search tiket dlm bulan ni or bulan depan. Yg bulan depan dh sold out dh pun. Ya la, bulan cuti sekolah kan. Tgk yg bulan ni pun dh jerge biji mata dh pun. Ceritanya yg boleh jdi homesick sangat2 ni  sbb mimpi abah la semalam. Hwuaaa rindunya rumah.

Well, aku rasa, aku try the best ikut advice Nad (bff aku kat uum). Ikut kata dia, keluaq dari comfort zone. But then, aku realized its so much things I need to learn. Benar2 mcm tajuk aku hari ni Life begins at the end of your comfort zone (which is I find from my bottle that Nad give to me). Aku betul2 rasa effect nya apabila mengambil step utk keluar dari comfort zone ni. Mental must be so strong including physicall juga.

Conclusionnya, like I always said, Aku masih lagi belajar. Still lagi menghadap langit biru dan mengharapkan semuanya berlalu dgn indah dgn izin Allah.